Question
Actualizado en
30 sep 2020
- Japonés
-
Inglés (UK)
-
Inglés (US)
Pregunta cerrada
Pregunta de Inglés (US)
It would be appreciated if you could correct sentences below.
I just read a novella titled "Loaded" by Joe Hill.
A begrudged ex-employer (as well as ex-lover) killed the jewelry shop owner using a gun.
Then a security guard who rushed to the scene wasn't able to grasp the situation, and wound up shooting both a Muslim customer and her baby to death, having mistaken her for a suicide-bomber, her baby as a bomb.
Then, he killed another witness, tampered with the evidence, and became a hero who had saved people from a massacre.
However, one female journalist came to have a question about what had really happened there.
Any reader might think she's going to solve the case, come to face off with the perpetrator, and defeat him into the bargain.
However, the story didn't end that way.I liked the ending, and didn't like it at the same time.
It would be appreciated if you could correct sentences below.
I just read a novella titled "Loaded" by Joe Hill.
A begrudged ex-employer (as well as ex-lover) killed the jewelry shop owner using a gun.
Then a security guard who rushed to the scene wasn't able to grasp the situation, and wound up shooting both a Muslim customer and her baby to death, having mistaken her for a suicide-bomber, her baby as a bomb.
Then, he killed another witness, tampered with the evidence, and became a hero who had saved people from a massacre.
However, one female journalist came to have a question about what had really happened there.
Any reader might think she's going to solve the case, come to face off with the perpetrator, and defeat him into the bargain.
However, the story didn't end that way.I liked the ending, and didn't like it at the same time.
I just read a novella titled "Loaded" by Joe Hill.
A begrudged ex-employer (as well as ex-lover) killed the jewelry shop owner using a gun.
Then a security guard who rushed to the scene wasn't able to grasp the situation, and wound up shooting both a Muslim customer and her baby to death, having mistaken her for a suicide-bomber, her baby as a bomb.
Then, he killed another witness, tampered with the evidence, and became a hero who had saved people from a massacre.
However, one female journalist came to have a question about what had really happened there.
Any reader might think she's going to solve the case, come to face off with the perpetrator, and defeat him into the bargain.
However, the story didn't end that way.I liked the ending, and didn't like it at the same time.
Respuestas
¿Cuándo dar "no me gusta" a una respuesta
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30 sep 2020
Respuesta destacada
- Inglés (US)
@Akira1991 Oh, that makes sense! In that case, you could say she went to investigate. The way you describe her interviewing a witness to the crime works really well too, so you could use that if you wanted to as well.
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- Inglés (US)
In sentence 2, I might say "shot and killed a jewelry shop owner" instead of "killed the jewelry shop owner using a gun." I would also use "disgruntled" or another word instead of "begrudged."
In sentence 3, I might use "misread the situation" or "misinterpreted the situation" instead of "wasn't able to grasp the situation," although your version also works! If you use misread/misinterpreted, you could also say "gravely misinterpreted/misread" as it would show that he seriously misunderstood it.
In sentence 4, you might say "painted himself as" or something similar instead of "became" but your version is also correct.
In sentence 5, I would use "interview the security guard" instead of "have a question."
In sentence 6, "defeat him into the bargain" is a little unclear to me. I get the general idea of what you mean, where she would become a hero and reveal the truth, but this phrase doesn't show an exact idea of what she might do? You could consider rephrasing it to be more specific.
The last sentence could be "I both liked and disliked the ending" if you wanted it to be more succinct, but your version is correct too!
Most of these are just small stylistic choices. Your writing is very good!!
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- Japonés
@m1347 Thank you for your elaborate explanations, that helps a lot!
One thing.
I meant to mean "have doubt" by using "have a question."
"Have a question" doesn't convey that meaning?
One thing.
I meant to mean "have doubt" by using "have a question."
"Have a question" doesn't convey that meaning?
- Inglés (US)
@Akira1991 Anytime! It doesn't necessarily express doubt. You could say she went to "get to the bottom of what had really happened" which would imply she had doubts.
You could say she went to "question him about what had really happened." That would also express that she was doubtful, or at least felt there was more to the story. I think this might be the phrase you were thinking of?
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- Japonés
@m1347 Thanks again!
Actually, I didn't intend to write about the journalist having a word with a perpetrator (although she did later).
At first, she interviewed a witness who heard the sounds of shots.
That was discrepant with the purported story, so she had doubts.
Actually, I didn't intend to write about the journalist having a word with a perpetrator (although she did later).
At first, she interviewed a witness who heard the sounds of shots.
That was discrepant with the purported story, so she had doubts.
- Inglés (US)
@Akira1991 Oh, that makes sense! In that case, you could say she went to investigate. The way you describe her interviewing a witness to the crime works really well too, so you could use that if you wanted to as well.
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