What's your country's parents' opinion to their under-age kid falling love with another under-age kid? In China, love between two children is forbidden by most of the teachers and parents, because they think teenagers have to study hard and get higher education before looking for a lover, what's more, love between young people also lack economic support because they are still students and don't have jobs. Therefore most of the under-age hide their affection at their heart, or never think about things like this. I am a university student now and I thought there's no real love between children at so young age (16 around). But I doubt this now. I wonder how to deal with kids love in better ways. Could you please let me know your opinions? Thanks a lot!

Question

LaneC · Answer

There’s a big difference between underage people dating and underage people having sex.

Teens dating is very normalized in the US. It is not uncommon for children as young as 13 to have boyfriends and girlfriends, or go to the movies on a date. However, parents will often accompany the children on the dates to make sure they are safe. These relationships are often very quick and not very intense, but they can help teach the children about what is important about dating when they are older.

Sex or sexual acts with minors is illegal, even if both participants are underage, so sex between people under 18 is generally discouraged for legal purposes and safety reasons. However, some teens in high school do still have sex with each other.

In southern states, some high schoolers even get engaged and marry after graduation. However, this is becoming more and more uncommon.

hsun79 · Answer

There are people from many different cultures in America. It depends who you ask. But I think it’s generally acceptable for high school kids to date (the teachers will not care and it’s allowed in school).

Some people try to hide their feelings, others don’t. Overall it’s not as conservative as China. However, I think Asian parents are still quite conservative and emphasize studying more than other parents. In the US, the student picks their own classes based on the teacher/counselor’s recommendation. So, you can take easy classes or difficult ones depending on your grades.

School is much easier than China for sure. But many students also participate in other activities (like sports) and have jobs.

Alexis_3 · Answer

My mom thinks it’s cute and my dad usually hates it like a typical protective dad. I know because my sister used to have a boyfriend at like age 15 or so.

treehugged · Answer

I'm from New Zealand and I studied in China for a month. I was surprised when my teacher told me I shouldn't have a boyfriend because I should be focusing on my studies instead. The way I understand it, Chinese parents put pressure on their kids to do well in school because they are worried otherwise they won't be able to get good grades or get a well-paid job. Chinese society seems very competitive and there seems to be a residual societal memory of what China was like during the political struggles between the communist and nationalist parties, and Japan, when many people didn't have enough food.

I'm really lucky to have grown up in New Zealand, where school is more about finding out what you are good at and interested in, and our culture values resilience, inventiveness and resourcefulness as a reaction to hardship, instead of competitiveness and social connections.
 
To me, putting off having friendships and relationships in order to study hard seems completely backwards. Friendships and relationships are the most important thing for me, as well as finding something good that I can do for other people. I would rather be poor, with good friends that I can rely on, than rich and lonely. (I would also never want to be rich because that seems like such a selfish thing when other people could use the money better). 
To me, a relationship is just like a friendship with someone you are attracted to.

I think NZ is quite liberal when it comes to young people and relationships. The legal age for marriage/ sex is 16, and I know it is 20 in many parts of the US. Most cultures in NZ accept that it is quite natural for kids to start dating at around 15, though some cultures are more conservative and like to arrange marriages for their children. Generally, dating as a kid is not seen as something serious, just a way of learning about other people and how to get on with them, which is seen as an important skill (at least as important as school). I started dating at 15, and I have friends who started when they were older or younger than that.

treehugged · Answer

@Shan0109 Thanks, it's a really interesting topic, I liked reading what you had to say too!

mariasan185239 · Answer

It depends on the culture. In my opinion, I don't judge that but I wouldn't encourage my children to date if they are under 16.

Usuario eliminado · Answer

People are not so conservative when it comes to these things, but it depends on culture.

Black parents are very strict on this, especially with their daughters but they are more lenient with their sons.

ssarah_1 · Answer

@Shan0109 In the USA (where I live) mainly children aren’t encouraged to date. An adult dating a minor is forbidden and illegal, for obvious reasons. However, it depends on the parents. If two kids fell in love their parents could either support it and encourage their love and support their relationship or they could try to break up the relationship because they believe there is a certain age in which kids should date, saying kids shouldn’t be involved in love and shouldn’t focus on dating or sexuality until at least 15.

bluelearns · Answer

depend on culture and state! and from person to person you ask

bluelearns · Answer

@Shan0109 yes because of different culture and state you grew up in!

People are not so conservative when it comes to these things, but it depends on culture.Black parents are very strict on this, especially with their daughters but they are more lenient with their sons.

My mom thinks it’s cute and my dad usually hates it like a typical protective dad. I know because my sister used to have a boyfriend at like age 15 or so.

It depends on the culture. In my opinion, I don't judge that but I wouldn't encourage my children to date if they are under 16.

depend on culture and state! and from person to person you ask

@Shan0109 yes because of different culture and state you grew up in!

@Shan0109 Thanks, it's a really interesting topic, I liked reading what you had to say too!

People are not so conservative when it comes to these things, but it depends on culture.

Black parents are very strict on this, especially with their daughters but they are more lenient with their sons.