Could you please wordsmith my e- mail? including how to use coｍmas and periods.
I'd really appreciate that.

Dear ... ,


Thank you for being interested in studying at HU. This is Kanto Oshima from Admission center of HU.

I'm more than happy to answer your questions but first of all, Could I ask you what degree do you want to get and what language do you want to study in.
I believe it would be better answering your questions after knowing what exactly your intentions or desires are.


I look forward to hearing from you.



Best regards,

Dear ... ,

Thank you for your interest in studying at HU. This is Kanto Oshima from the admissions center of HU.

I would be more than happy to answer your questions but first we need to know which degree you want to receive and what language you want to study in.
Knowing your intentions and desires will help us answer your questions better.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

(Your punctuation usage is fine, most of the edits are for more formality which I think is more appropriate for this. Also notice how I switch to plural first person pronoun in the middle paragraph to emphasize that you are speaking as a representative of HU)