Relationship with Parents

I heard that Americans don't in intimate contact with their parents after adult. Parents means a lot to Chinese people. It's fine to some people, but burden with others.
What's the actual relationship between you and your parents? Will they control whom you can marry with? Will you live with them after they are too old to take care of themselves?

Looking forward to your kindly replay.

Question

Relationship  with Parents

I heard that Americans don't in intimate contact with their parents after adult. Parents means a lot to Chinese people. It's fine to some people, but burden with others. 
What's the actual relationship between you and your parents? Will they control whom you can marry with? Will you live with them after they are too old to take care of themselves?

Looking forward to your kindly replay.

sbeec · Answer

Family relations here are very diverse. It is more common for parents and children to maintain contact when they become adults. Some people move away from home, but some adults stay home with their parents through college or longer. There are still people who have bad relationships with each other, and the parents and adult children never want to see each other again. Generally, parents do not tell their children who they should marry. More traditional families may appreciate if the potential husband asks the woman's father if it is OK to marry, but it's really just a gesture of respect. Whether the dad agrees or not usually doesn't affect the decision.

Usuario eliminado · Answer

Generally parents have no say in who you marry.  They don't have to like who you marry, but they have no control.
Some people will move in with their parents, other will ship them to an old-folks home.  Old-folk home can seem cruel, but they can usually provide a better level of care, and are better prepared for any medical emergencies.

sineadbuckley95 · Answer

Many Americans try to become independent after they turn 18 so in some cases the parents will put a lot of pressure on their children to get a stable job and move out quickly to start their own homes.  It's been that way for a very long time, but we've started staying home after we turn 18 for a lot longer because of current financial difficulties in our generation.  For most Americans, our lives are more centered around our jobs then our families so it's not uncommon that children will move far away from their parents in order to be closer to work.  I think generally growing up in America is almost about leaving your family behind to start one of your own if this makes sense.

oerash11 · Answer

relationships vary greatly from person to person. for myself I live about an hour away from my parents but try to go home once or twice a month to visit (I am 20 for reference). 
My fiance on the other hand had a very bad relationship growing, up so he refuses to talk to his mother and only speaks to his father occasionally. he dose however have other people that he views as "parents" or parent like and keeps a tight bond with them.

Rinith85 · Answer

On a personal note, I have a very close relationship with my mother and father because family is the most important thing to me, but that is not the case with everyone. I have a lot of friends who have strained relationships with their parents because of differences of opinion and what they want for their futures. I love both of my parents very much but they do not choose who I will eventually marry. I respect their opinion and would like them to like who I have chosen as a husband in the future but in America most parents no longer choose spouses for their children. Due to the love I have for my relatives, when they are to old to take care of themselves, I plan to do anything I can for them, but because I am not properly trained to care for another person's needs, I may need to get them the help that I can not give them personally. I hope this answers your questions and gives you a bit of an insight into at least one kind of parental/child relationship.

Ask native speakers questions for free