Could you check and correct my essay?

Topic:Effects of aging on society

In Japan, aging society have come. There are more elders but less children than in the past. The number of young people are in decline and as a result we don’t have children than ever.
It’s danger for society because it’s necessary for growth of society to have children and young men and women. Young people can work more and give power for society.
Furthermore, some experts warn pension. The pension is the system that young people give money to government, and government give it for elders. In the past, there are more young people in Japan, so the system can work. However, there are less young people and more elders nowadays, the system will not work.
In conclusion the Government and we should think how to get more children.

Question

Could you check and correct my essay?

Topic:Effects of aging on society

In Japan, aging society have come. There are more elders but less children than in the past. The number of young people are in decline and as a result we don’t have children than ever.
It’s danger for society because it’s necessary for growth of society to have children and young men and women. Young people can work more and give power for society.
Furthermore, some experts warn pension. The pension is the system that young people give money to government, and government give it for elders. In the past, there are more young people in Japan, so the system can work. However, there are less young people and more elders nowadays, the system will not work.
In conclusion the Government and we should think how to get more children.

Chri8tine · Answer

Topic:  Effects of aging on a society

In Japan, people are living longer. There are more elders but less younger people than in the past. The number of young people are in decline and as a result we don’t have have a young society.
It’s dangerous for a society because it’s necessary for the growth of society to have children who become young men and women. Young people can work more and build a stronger a society.
Furthermore, some experts warn about the pension system. The pension system is a system where young people work, they contribute part of their earnings to government.  The government pays out a set amount each month to the elders who paid into it when they were previously in the work force. In the past, there were more young people in Japan, so the system worked well. However, there are less young people and more elders nowadays. It’s possible that the system will collapse.
In conclusion the Government and society should think about how to keep the young people here in Japan to make a life for themselves instead of working and living abroad.

Chri8tine · Answer

@Orion_hunter 
(Orion has always been my favorite constellation)

Orion_the_hunter · Answer

In Japan most of the population is aged ... ( there's probably a better way to say it, but am not sure right now)

There are more elders and fewer children, today, than there were in the past.

... As a result we have even lower numbers of children.

It's 'dangerous' for society because if we want growth in society, we need to have young men and women.

... Work more and can be a powerful asset to society.

... Experts warn about the effects of pension.

... Government distributes it to elders.

In the past, there were more young people in Japan so the system worked; however, there are few young people and more elder people nowadays. This system will not work.
In conclusion, the government and us should think on how to... (get more children seems weird in so many ways!)...make it easier to have children/ get more young people with immigration...

Orion_the_hunter · Answer

Sorry ,... In conclusion we, the citizens/public, and the government should think on how to...

Orion_the_hunter · Answer

Mine too! ( but I suppose you can figure that out from my name!)

Sorry ,... In conclusion we, the citizens/public, and the government should think on how to...

@Orion_hunter (Orion has always been my favorite constellation)

Mine too! ( but I suppose you can figure that out from my name!)

Ask native speakers questions for free

@Orion_hunter
(Orion has always been my favorite constellation)